Bargaining, I asked to go to urgent care instead. The doctor took one look at me and practically ordered an ambulance, thus starting my nearly two-week long hospitalization that involved losing both fallopian tubes and one ovary just when I needed them the most.

Recovery from abdominal surgery felt agonizing in body, mind, and spirit. Towards the end and driven by a type of boredom only being bedbound will induce, I picked up a project I had put down years ago.

Here’s my elevator pitch for the novel:

A dark, glamorous thriller set in the mid-to-late 2000s world of chartered yachts and high fashion, where sex trafficking operates just beneath a gorgeous surface. Told through the complicated, sometimes monstrous relationships between women, it asks what a woman will do to reach the top, what she’ll do to stay there, and what it costs every woman caught in her wake to survive.

If that sounds like something up your alley, welcome to the The Sardine Report. The water is warm.

Subscribe now

What this newsletter will provide, should you choose to swim with me:

• On the Page: Here I’ll document writing updates on the novel. Triumphs and struggles, breakthroughs and breakdowns, and of course, word counts.

• Currently Reading: An avid researcher and reader, I’ll share any books, essays, articles, musings, etc. that come from my research, pleasure, or inspiration. I’m interested in psychology, psychoanalysis, and dream interpretation, so you can expect a dash of that, too.

• In the Ether: I’ll share other research that I’ve been exploring such as videos, movies, music, and the like. Lately, it’s been a lot of runway videos of Lanvin from the 2000s.

• Life, Loosely: A catch all category for anything else that’s on my mind.

I hope you join me, fellow sardines. We travel better together.

xo, Ali

On the Page

Last week, I felt stuck whenever I sat down to write. I had been traveling; with each trip I fell further behind. When life calmed down, working on the novel again felt like a struggle. This project started out as a fun distraction, and I wasn’t enjoying the process now.

In a session with my analyst, I complained about my lack of progress and talked about this one specific problem I hadn’t solved. One of my main characters seemed to exist on two separate planes. At the same time, she was an anxiety addled mess while also a confident and commanding presence in other scenes. I mean, who hasn’t been there?

I knew why she had this interiority, but on the page, it read as an inconsistency. And I was stuck.

My analyst suggested that I wasn’t experiencing writer’s block but facing an actual problem that needed to be solved. She suggested I write the character’s entire backstory sparing no details. Childhood memories, favorite food… nothing was too small. Hearing her describe this exercise, I became excited and said, “That sounds fun.” Just what I’d been lacking.

So, sardines, I wrote the character’s backstory and had a breakthrough. Finally, I was able to return to the manuscript with renewed energy. It was a productive week.

Weekly word count: 6,847

Total word count: 28,354

Currently Reading

I’m working my way through Julia Kristeva’s Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection. I’m both endeared to and frustrated by Lacanian theory. Do I understand this essay entirely? No, but it has inspired some ideas, nonetheless.

I’ve also been reading up on symbology with the symbol Bible: J.C. Cooper’s An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Traditional Symbols. Watch this space.

In the Ether

As mentioned above, I needed authentic fashion inspiration from the aughts. I’ve been watching several runways from Lanvin. Here’s the 2006 Spring/Summer collection designed by the incredible Alber Elbaz which served as inspo for an important shopping spree.

Please also consider watching this documentary on Elbaz’s time at Lanvin. He’s a delight.

Life, Loosely

I’ve enjoyed my return to hiking, though the typical three-mile loop kicked my ass no thanks to the humidity. Isn’t summer such a lovely time for outdoor leisure?

Speaking of summer, it is the best time of year for fresh produce. I made my favorite summer salad this past weekend. Utterly delicious.

That’s the Sardine Report. See you next Tuesday.

Share